It’s official…the zombies that chase me in my dreams are of the “run fast” variety. #trumpvoters

I miss the good ole days of my childhood when zombies were slow and escape was simple…so long as one avoids dead-ends and can find a safe place to sleep. There are numerous articles that discuss how conservatives tend to be scared of vampires while liberals are most frightened by zombies (and the popularity of zombie/vampire moves rises when there is a republican/democrat president). Why?

If we are most frightened by what we do not understand, then this is not a surprise. What is fascinating to me is how the modern take has evolved with the polarization of American politics.

Zombies are a unified conformist mob, singular of purpose with the ability to spread like a virus. They are pure emotion, devoid of intelligence and act only on the desire to feed (usually on brains) like all good consumers. There is no reasoning or talking to zombies. A perfect metaphor for the anti-intellectual/anti-science/pro-business crowd that has taken over much of the political conversation in the US. In today’s age of irresponsible, conflict-oriented, social-media-fueled journalism, ideas (even bad ones, so long as they are controversial) spread like wildfire and are legitimized instantly by the media, forcing a false dichotomy of ideological black vs white. The zombies that once were slow to attack are now running at full speed. Modern movie/TV plots use zombies as a force of nature, with the only moral dilemma** coming from how humans treat each other in the wake of the zombie apocalypse.

**I still want use “dilemna”…dilemma just looks wrong!

Vampires in the post-Bram Stoker era are charming, intelligent, educated and originate from lost nations that most Americans can’t locate on a map. They are sexual in nature, threaten Christianity (e.g., abhor the cross) and prey on young women (lock up your daughters!). Dracula was a novel about xenophobia: the fear of the dark, mysterious “other” foreigner who invades England by charming the clothes off proper women. Turning otherwise upstanding moral citizens into a harem of sexualized demon “recruits” by sucking their blood (parasite?) and taking over their minds. Humans are seen as a bizarre mix of food and objects of desire…how very nuanced. Sounds like a checklist of GOP talking points on what is wrong with America today (i.e., immigrants, Muslims and those damn ivy league liberals taking over the minds of our youth with their socialist/communist rhetoric). The modern take has vampires has them continuing to live among us, even invading our high schools and mating with humans. Some have even become our thankless heroes, fighting in the shadows to save humanity, despite the “racism” that continues to haunt them. Sound familiar?

Something else that makes sense to me is the way one has to dispatch each type of creature. Survivors of the zombie apocalypse are typically those who have the greatest stockpile of weapons and a defensible position. If you have a lot of guns, you survive. Those who don’t are zombie food. This is a concept that many on the right of the political spectrum are comfortable with and are fully prepared to deal with. When the zombies strike, they are not only ready but looking forward for the chance to be the conquering hero…zombies are just not that scary when they are used for target practice.

Guns are ineffective against vampires (scary!) and the protagonist in vampire stories have to use a mix of science, religion and mysticism to battle vampires. The enemy is intelligent and not easy to find as they live among us. Further complicating the vampire hunter’s efforts is the hope to save those loved ones who are may have been converted without killing them (typically by locating and destroying the paternal vampire). All kinds of metaphors spinning out from all directions, but suffices to say that the “shoot em up” (carpet bomb?) approach will not work against vampires, which conflicts with the world view of those on the right. Those on the left are likely fascinated with the complexity of vampires, invoking fear but also admiration and empathy.

The most frightening thing about both creatures is the humanity. Both maintain some aspects of the person that has been changed by a bite that moves through the bloodstream both killing the victim and transforming that person from human to object (the “undead”). The evil is in the ideas that transform from the inside. The objectifying language used in political rhetoric make it easy to see humans on the “other side” as objects…which is without a doubt the scariest thing I can imagine.