Open Letter to the GOP (or what’s left of it)

GOP? Meet me at camera three…

Hey…how’s it going?

Been a while since we talked. I think it was in the 80s when I was a kid and believed all the Reagan bullshit about being tough with the USSR and winning the “cold war” which you and I both know was really about spending money and keeping our main boosters (i.e., the military industrial complex) in power…wink, wink. Always “business-friendly” loose and free with regulations, cut taxes while also cutting spending…remember the good old days before the nut-jobs took over your party?

So, anyway, about this entire “Trump thing”. WTF? He has never served in public office…not even as a community organizer, believes whatever he reads on the internet and is an admitted snake oil salesman…but that’s your guy?!? You used to think it was funny when the nut-jobs like Trump would say crazy and completely made up shit about democrats (Obama was not born in the US?) and laughed it off, shrugged your shoulders and said “oh well” instead of condemning the behavior as unacceptable…and now it has become not only acceptable but seen as part of the job description. You have nominated Donald Trump for President of the United States…currently the most important elected office in the world. Let that sink in.

The last time the GOP made such a disastrous mistake (while pretending they did not) was…well it wasn’t that long ago actually: the occupation of Iraq “before they could attack us” with WOMD.

Remember that? The worst foreign policy decision in American history?  If we do a cost/benefit analysis looking at lives lost, money spent, credibility gone, etc…vs enemies gained, destabilization of the region, impact on surrounding countries (and now Europe) then wow. It is a testament to the strength of the US that we didn’t completely collapse. Oh, and as it turns out Saddam never had any nukes. Not one. And no evidence he was even close to getting one. Whew…that was a pretty awful move you have to admit. But to this day, about 90% of you GOP’ers insist “we did what we had to do and stopped a bad man” or whatever it is you tell yourself and your children. Read this, you will get a laugh out of it (seriously, I’ll wait) it’s like Skip Bayless predicting what Manziel would do in the NFL:

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/rumsfeld-it-would-be-a-short-war/

Wow…how does it feel to be that wrong?

My point is that you, the GOP, have done quite a bit of damage to America in the past two decades. To be fair: have you done anything on the positive side to sort of even out the balance sheet? any accomplishments you can hang your hat on? I can’t think of anything…you did win the Citizen’s United case which has blown up the amount of rich donor/secret/dark money in politics…congrats! More money in politics won’t corrupt anyone, will it? You have consistently fought against social progress (anyone with dark skin, Muslims, gays and now transgenders) and have disenfranchised untold number of registered voters (reverting the voting rights act, voter ID laws). The Bush/GOP years were some of the most corrupt in recent history (Tom DeLay? Jack Abermoff?). Oh wait, you did have the big “temporary” tax cuts that overwhelmingly helped out the rich and contributed to our budget shortfall (along with that big expensive war). We have not been able to let those “temporary” rates return to normal…again thanks to the GOP…the rich get richer and it will help us all right? When, exactly?

Btw (and I hate to say this as it may be sort of unfair) but 9/11 happened under your watch and instead of taking advantage of world-wide empathy to unite the world as the leader of the free world you acted like a frightened paranoid bully (in the process blowing up our budget, reverting constitutional rights and officially advocating torture). In essence, you took OBL’s bait and acted just as the 9/11 perpetrators hoped you would and gave them exactly what they wanted: an invasion of a Muslim country by US troops that would become the center of recruiting for our enemies for the next decade or so (“told you so!”). If 9/11 is not completely your fault, then how come Benghazi is Obama’s (and now Hilliary’s) fault? Even if we give you a pass on the worst terrorist act on American soil, you do not get a pass on the complete incompetence that followed (and we have not even started on Katrina). You created even more ways to spend money: the department of homeland security, FEMA, etc…ironic how keeping the US safe and spending money were supposed to be “things the GOP does well”.

When Obama was elected and you guys refused to work with him (even on policies you previously endorsed) and disrespected him publicly (more than any other US president in history), well that was just icing on the cake. You flat-out refused to help clean up the mess (Iraq, economy) that you (for the most part) created because you didn’t want a democrat president getting any “credit”. But that’s “just politics” right? Party over country…

But all of that pales in comparison to this latest fiasco. Just by virtue of becoming the GOP nominee, the damage Trump will inflict on the US/World economy and in particular our reputation has already begun. Companies and countries are now in limbo as they have to account for the possibility that we elect an incompetent and completely unqualified individual and hand him the keys to largest military force on the planet…with the world’s largest nuclear arsenal…to a man that gets into twitter wars with celebs and apparently gets his world news from the National Enquirer. And we are worried about other leaders getting a nuke? Trump will have his finger on the button of more WOMD the world has ever seen…

GOP: You have done enough damage already…please, just stop. Help us defeat this bigoted, ignorant, unpredictable, hateful, self-serving misogynist before it all ends..in a mushroom cloud.

Guns and Peni

So let me get this straight (pun intended)…the same group that thinks we can not possibly ban assault weapons because “bad guys would still break the law and get them anyway” (ignoring the fact that by making such guns illegal police could both confiscate the vast majority of said weapons AND arrest more bad guys, reducing the number of both) is saying what now? We are going to police every public bathroom because why? Transgender people (0.03% of the population) are a threat to who again? Ignoring the fact that assaults by transgender persons is so low as to equal the number of people pretending to be someone else so they can vote? Oh, but that would open the door for men to go into bathrooms and assault whoever they please…

Because the only way to stop a man with a penis (or a man who has no penis) from entering a room where penises are not allowed is to have a man with a penis (and a gun) who, with his many years of diverse experience can quickly judge who is a man with a penis or a man with no penis pretending to have no penis.

“What sex are you?”

       “A man has no penis.”

[whacks her with a bamboo reed] “WHAT WERE YOU BORN?!?”

         “A man has no penis.”

[whacks her again] “WHAT IS IN YOUR PANTS?”

“A. Man. Has. No. Penis.”

END SCENE